We started Lachlan back on steroids today.  He was on them for the majority of the month of July, during radiation, and it was obvious with just a glance.  By the time we discontinued them he looked like a Cabbage Patch doll.  Remember those?  Big eyes.  Tiny nose.  HUGE cheeks. The cheeks were actually kind of cute on him. When he would get real excited about something they would shake.  It takes quite a while for steroids to leave the body, and so he was just recently looking like himself again.   I was thinking that while watching him sleep this morning.  The past several days he has been increasingly lethargic, complaining of headaches more, and showing very little appetite.  In talking with his doctor, it was decided that steroids should help his symptoms.  I pray.

We are leaving Saturday for a family vacation.  Much needed.  One month ago it did not seem the least bit questionable to take him as far as Kiawah Island, South Carolina.  Today we are feeling slight hesitation.  What if his symptoms worsen?  What if he needs medical care?  What if he needs urgent medical care?  We have an emergency syringe of seizure medicine kept in a bag that looks like a frog.  It goes everywhere with us.  Now when we say ‘Let’s go!’,  Lachlan walks over, puts the frog bag over his shoulder,  and says “Oooo-Kay!”  I don’t know that I have ever in my life been witness to anything so precious and gut-wrenching at the same time.

He loves the beach.  Digging in the sand.  Laying in the waves.  Being pulled around the island in his ‘chariot’ behind Daddy’s bike.  The paths are beautiful…winding through shade trees that appear to have been standing for hundreds of years, past green golf

Kiawah Island, September 2010

courses, and onto the beach.  There is a peace that blankets you upon entering the island.  It cannot be described, only felt.  I pray that peace will again envelop us this year.  A blanket of peace… of amazing grace.  I pray this for my son.  Please God.  For my son.